Corben was our first and very much wanted child, he was born on 27th December 2005. I was in established labour for ten hours, it was quite an easy labour but hard at the same time due to the cord being round Corbens neck.  We kept losing him each time I got a contraction.  Corben made his entry at 00.43am weighing 7lb 3oz, he was very quiet and didn’t whimper, he was also blue. I had my worries about Corben during my pregnancy as he didn’t move as much as I thought he would do.  I was really worried when he was about 6 weeks old and he first choked on his milk.  Corben then had endless chest infections and colds, I was always at the doctors with him but they wouldn’t listen to my worries. I got the feeling they were thinking “you’re a first time mum, young, and worrying for nothing.” I started to believe that myself, but then don’t mums know best about their children? In my case yes. I really wanted the medics to start listening to us!

At 5 months old Corben could still not support his head or turn it completely to the left.  My Health Visitor kept telling me to try and do things to get him try to get him to support his head himself, and lifting it up of the floor and to the left.  Why wouldn’t they listen to me? Finally on April 27th the Health Visitor started listening to my worries and decided to refer Corben to a Specialist.  He was referred as his soft spot had almost healed, which isn’t supposed to happen until about 18 months,  and also because of the shape of his head.  On May 26th whilst Corben was being weighed, the Health Visitor found a lump at the top of Corbens ribs.  We were sent for an x-ray and found Corbens spine was “S” shaped, as well has his top ribs being shaped.  This was all due to the illness Corben had, but we still had no idea what that illness was.

On 23rd June 2006 Corben was diagnosed with Spinal Muscular Atrophy.  From that day me and Chris decided to pack the whole of Corbens life into the next few months as we didn’t know how much precious time we had left with him.  This included going on holiday and camping for a night under the stars.  We had a 6 month birthday party as we thought Corben would probably not be here for his 1st birthday.  We had a cake, paddling pool and all our friends and family around us.  We even had fireworks to mark that special day.

Corben was put on a feeding tube on the July 15th as he was having troubling swallowing when he was taking his milk, and food some of it was going in to his left lung.  We didn’t want to risk him getting fluid on his lungs as we all knew this could cause infection, and were trying our best to keep Corben away from infections as we knew one day an infection would take him away from us.  We still gave Corben tastes of food, how can anyboy take a thing away from a child who enjoys it so much, and won’t get to do it later on in life? We did everything with Corben that we could possibly do, some things you wouldn't do until your child is old enough to understand it and enjoy it.  Corben enjoyed most things and we could tell that by the big cheeky grin we got off him, that’s why we called him our Cheeky Little Monkey.

On September 6th 2006 Corben got yet another chest infection, even though we tried so hard to keep him well.  This is when we were told to prepare for the worst as we had a matter of days left.  On September 7th nobody would believe that he was leaving us because he came around like nothing was wrong with him.  We then decided to have Corben blessed and arranged this for September 14th. Again Corben took a turn for the worst and we had to bring his blessing forward.  I wrote the following words for his blessing;

All we ever wanted was a child,
Corben was given to us as a very Special gift,
He has been and always will be "OUR SHINING STAR"
Corben has been the best thing that ever happened to us,
Our worst nightmare was for Corben to become ill or be hurt, all we ever wanted was to keep him healthy, happy and safe,
The saddest news was yet to come because we were told Corben was going to leave us,
Corben is only with us for a short while and we will always cherish every moment of his life,
There will always be a special place in our lives for Corben - "OUR SHINING STAR".

Corben had a bad day every week for 6 weeks.  When he took a turn for the worst, on them bad days, we all thought he wouldn’t see the end of the day.  On October 21st myself and Chris were going to decorate our new home as we were due to move on the 28th (Corben came to look at the house with us but sadly never moved with us).  It was the first morning for a while that we were all awake by 7am, this was strange for Corben as he was normally the last one up.  As we took him into the living room I was straight on the phone to Linda from the Child Development Unit.  Linda was the person who looked after us all the way though Corben being ill, and I wish to say A BIG THANK YOU TO LINDA!  She came to our home to have a look at Corben and I could tell by her face it was the day, as well as my own heart saying this.  Chris was a bit unsure, as we had been here so many times before, so he went to start decorating.  My parents, Chris’ parents and sister came to sit with me and Corben as I didn’t like being on my own with him as he could choke at any time.  At dinner time we had to make a phone call to Chris as Corben still had not come round. 

At 2 minutes to 6pm Corben took his last breath, he grew his angel wings and went to help light up the sky with the other angels.  Corben is now a shining star and I hope one day we will meet again.